Everyone suffers from pain at some time in their life.

Millions of Americans awake every morning to chronic pain—a pain that dictates every life move. It’s a different game, however, if the one suffering is your wife or husband, your brother or sister or even your child.  It’s difficult to watch someone you love suffer and even more difficult to know how to help.

Pain changes people. A general rule to remember is that the more severe the pain and longer one has suffered, the more extreme the changes. Pain tends to isolate us from one another. We lose parts of our independence – our self-image and confidence likewise suffer. We become angry, depressed, tired, anxious, and feel helpless and hopeless.

It seems no one understands.

Here’s how you can help.

LISTEN. One of the most common complaints chronic sufferers have is that no one knows what they are experiencing. Listen to their words and the meaning behind them.  When we listen, we give reassurance and value to their experience.  Listening can help reduce the distance between us that pain can cause.

REASSESS. Chronic pain sufferers should be re-evaluated on an annual basis at least, in order to explore new treatments or seek different opinions.  Consider going to the doctor with the patient and ask questions about treatments options. Has a good medical diagnosis been made? Has appropriate medical treatment been undertaken?  Feel free to ask these types of questions.

TALK. Discuss any realistic hope for improvement.  Talk honestly, remind gently and offer help but do not nag. Exercise, diet and medications all must be reassessed from time to time. If you can encourage someone in pain to begin to stretch, walk and get a little stronger daily, many good things will happen. It is amazing what an individual can accomplish sitting with a soup can in each hand exercising while watching television. Further on, walking outside with a kitchen timer for just five minutes each way can really help regain function. The key to success is to do this daily.

HOPE. The greatest enemies facing your suffering loved one are helpless and hopeless feelings. We fight helplessness by finding ways to recover function. We fight hopelessness with hope, but a realistic solid hope. To encourage the suffering to bring his or her pain, frustration, confusion and sorrow to God is a loving service. Whenever you are tired or discouraged, remember: never give up, never give in and never quit.

Kit S. Mays, M.D. - Mays and Schnapp Pain Clinic and Rehabilitation Center, a joint venture between Baptist Memorial Health Care and Kit Mays, M.D., and Moacir Schnapp, M.D., is the only comprehensive center for the treatment of severe chronic pain in the Mid-South